Remember sending the kids outside after dinner and not seeing them again until the streetlights came on? Those long summer evenings of backyard games -the running, the scheming, the arguments about the rules- were doing something important. Turns out, a psychologist agrees.
One game from that era is worth bringing back for your grandchildren. It is Capture the Flag, and according to Dr. Carolina Estevez, PsyD, a psychologist at Soba in New Jersey, it teaches kids teamwork better than most apps can.
Why a Backyard Game Beats a Screen
Apps and video games can offer some cooperation. But Dr. Estevez told Parade that physical, in-person play does things screens simply cannot. “Verbal and non-verbal communication, emotional regulation, physical activity and spontaneous problem-solving are all components of the developmentally effective nature of physically interactive play,” she explains.
In other words, kids learn to read each other. They have to talk, adapt, and figure things out on the fly. No app can replicate that.
Dr. Estevez points to research suggesting that active, cooperative play is one of the best ways to raise socially confident, resilient young people. “Active cooperation, decision-making in real time and developing flexibility of thought all occur when children decide how they will work together,” she says. “Apps cannot prompt kids to think creatively about their own process.”
How to Set It Up in Five Minutes
The best part? You do not need much. Dr. Estevez walks through the setup:
- Divide the children into two teams.
- Mark each team’s territory using cones, towels, or rope.
- Give each team a “flag”; a bandanna or a pool noodle works perfectly.
- Set a basic tagging rule so players can be caught in enemy territory.
- Designate a “jail” area for tagged players.
- Make sure everyone understands the boundaries before the game starts.
“You do not need much to get started other than some markers and a small object to represent the flag,” Dr. Estevez says. The objective is simple: steal the other team’s flag and get it back to your side.
When the Arguments Start, That Is the Point
Kids will disagree during the game. They will argue about fairness and strategy. Dr. Estevez says that is actually the whole idea.
“Since adults are not intervening in every issue, children have the opportunity to resolve issues among themselves through negotiation, compromise, self-regulation and repairing after a conflict,” she explains. “Every opportunity children have to demonstrate they can successfully resolve future interpersonal challenges creates increased confidence.”
So resist the urge to step in at every squabble. Let them work it out. That is where the real learning happens.
Three Rule Tweaks for Different Ages
If you have grandkids of mixed ages playing together, a few simple adjustments keep things fair and fun for everyone.
Safe zone reset: Mark certain spots as “safe zones” where younger players can pause for up to 15 seconds if they wander into enemy territory. Dr. Estevez says this keeps younger kids in the game without taking away the competitive fun for older ones.
Multiple flags: Give each team three flags instead of one. This forces everyone to communicate, share responsibilities, and develop a real strategy. “Each team will have to communicate with one another, distribute tasks among players and adjust their overall strategy so that each player has a role and responsibility,” Dr. Estevez notes.
Rescue challenge: Instead of sitting out once tagged, a jailed player can be freed if a teammate completes a small task like answering a trivia question or doing five jumping jacks. Dr. Estevez says this keeps every player “participating and working with others throughout the remainder of the game.”
Next time the grandkids visit and you are looking for something to fill the afternoon, skip the screens. Hand someone a bandanna, stake out the backyard, and let the game begin. You already know how it goes, you played it yourself.
